Remembering the Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

  • Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Starting Fresh…again :0

What is it about growth and transformation, where you work on it and work on it and then find yourself seemingly starting from the beginning again. They say that we learn our lessons over and over, they come around and back around again. I guess it makes sense, sort of like walking through a museum and realizing you missed that painting the last time you were there, or that sculpture, you never noticed it before but now it is calling you to come closer and explore.

After a few frustrating years and feeling very disconnected from my spiritual path, I am bringing myself back around to the teachings I got early on my journey.

One of the first spiritual teachers on my path was Carolyn Myss. Carolyn spoke in one of my college lectures back in 1989, as a special guest to my teacher Albee Reiner who taught a lecture/class called the Biology of Cancer. Albee, although a scientist, brought in some unusual and alternative guest lecturers to help open our minds to the fact that our bodies process the information we give it and that we can have an impact on our biology by understanding how our emotions and beliefs impact our overall well-being. Books like ‘The Biology of Belief’ by Bruce Lipton, or ‘Molecules of Emotion’ by Candace Pert, these books highlight the energetics of how our minds impact our biology. These are early teachings for me, I understand this, and yet…where does this knowledge go in the midst of depression, anxiety, broken dreams and unresolved relationship issues, where does this knowledge disappear to as we live our day to day lives and why do we fall back into our old patterns over and over again?

As I am aging, I am more aware of my health, or rather the changes in my health from a youthful Goddess to the menopausal crone Goddess I have grown into. But I am wondering, how much of this has been brought on by the natural aging process and how much by the things I have done, and said, and believed about my own lack, my issues of feeling not good enough, rejection or negative self-talk.

It’s the mind, the ego. Here is a well-known quote: “if you don’t control your mind, your mind will control you” and if you don’t control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you. I am aware, once again, I have to become a master of my thoughts, and challenge those thoughts that are expressing lack, dissatisfaction, complaining, and most of all fear.

So I will begin again at becoming a master of my thinking. I have read statistics that we have roughly 70,000 thoughts a day, and half of those thoughts are on auto-pilot, that means about 35,000 thoughts a day we are not even aware of. Automatic negative thoughts, Daniel Amen calls them ANT’s, and says we have to become ANT eaters. That means recognizing the thoughts, bringing them out of automatic and into conscious awareness. If I am feeling bad and nothing bad is happening to me, then that is my red flag that I am having bad thoughts. Now I have taken the unconscious and brought it into conscious awareness. When I recognize I am feeling bad, but nothing bad is happening ie: no one is punching me, kicking me or harming me, then I know it is time to take back control and look for a better feeling thought. It is important to understand, I may not have control when that bad feeling comes over me, but I do have control with what I do with it, I am at choice. So I will leave today’s post with this. A new affirmation. I am the Goddess, I am working on it, I am safe in this moment, the elegant here and now, there is nothing bad happening to me except for my negative thoughts, I thank them for making me aware that there is something to look at and challenge, because underneath all that negative self-talk is the truth – I am the Goddess, I love myself and my life, I am safe, I am on a life’s journey, there will be obstacles in my path, but it is all just part of the path. I will continue to learn and grow, and in the meantime I will remember I am made of love, I am abundant with love and I am thankful for all the good I have. Blessed Be.

Women’s Wound Care

Women’s Wound Care

I chose the color purple to represent the purple heart, for those of us who have been wounded by life, to honor valor and resiliency, to remind you that you are strong, we are strong and that we have been through some heavy stuff. I honor you for the experiences you have had and the wounds you have sustained.

We as women have been marginalized, just being born female automatically puts us in the category of being “other”, other meaning not a man. Although times are changing, it is a still a “man’s world”. The power continues to be in the hands of men (also known as the Patriarchy). BUT, it is also in the hands of women as we take our power back, as we acknowledge the wounds inflicted upon us and say enough!!!

When we decide to honor our wounds, by acknowledging that we have been hurt, and validating our innocence, not only as victims by someone else’s hand or betrayal on a deep level, but as beings of love whose only desire was to love and be loved, and yet things not of love harmed us on our journey. When we look at our experiences with gentleness and love, and understand if we could have done better or if we couldn’t have done anything to change it, then we can start the journey of healing and forgiveness. Forgiveness for ourselves, for our past, for our thoughts about ourselves due to our past, due to our wounds, forgiveness for thinking you were less than or not good enough, forgiveness for thinking you must have deserved it, forgiveness for allowing others to get in your head, forgiveness for thinking you are broken, forgiveness for not feeling safe to be your authentic self for fear of being harmed again, forgiveness for harming others, forgiveness for letting your past define you. When we start to work on forgiving ourselves, then we start healing.

It is time to Shatter Shame! It is time to reclaim your Goddess, your Soaring Beauty, your power and your vitality. It is time to step forward. You have the strength and you have the courage.

Soaring Beauty

heart smileTonight I am in the process of planning for my next meeting of the Soaring Beauty Club.  We, The Soaring Beauty Club, are a small group of women, who gather together on Wednesday nights in Salem in the oldest part of Salem hospital (where I work during the day). There we discuss women’s issues that include topics such as: the Me Too movement, politics, self-esteem, sexual abuse and assault, our daughters, our mothers, our sisters and ourselves. We delve into The Goddess and play with oracle cards. We color and draw and relax and talk. We explore what causes us to resist our own power, love and beauty. We support one another and tell our stories.

Tomorrow night’s theme is BEAUTY.  What is it? How do we claim it? Where does it reside? How do we tap into our own inner beauty?

I have a beautiful visualization I am going to teach and share with the women. I have a story to read about Ameterasu, The Goddess of the sun who hid her beauty, and we will begin the process of reclaiming our beauty, power and self-love.